Abigail's Party (Play For Today, 1977)

Abigail's Party had a lot to live up to. I'd heard many people praise the production, and the DVD cover says that it was voted number 11 in the BFI's all-time top 100 British TV programmes. I also went into it thinking that Alison Steadman was the titular Abigail. 

I'm pleased to say that Abigail's Party lives up to the hype. And Alison Steadman plays Beverley - Abigail is a never-seen character whose teenage party forms part of the reason the 5 characters get together at Beverley's house.

Alison Steadman is remarkable as Beverley - a woman who is desperate to appear refined and fantastically middle class. She put us in mind of Steadman's much later character, Pamela, in Gavin & Stacey, another woman struggling with middle-class angst, and I wouldn't be surprised if the parallels were intentional. 
Janine Duvitski plays Angela, one of Beverley and Laurence's new neighbours, and she's a riot. Always excellent in One Foot in the Grave, Waiting For God and others, Duvitski is fantastic at playing the slightly dippy naïf. I enjoyed Harriet Reynold's (an actress previously unknown to me) uncomfortable turn as the more upper-class mother of Abigail who watches events unfold at this 'cocktail party from hell' with haughty detachment. 

By turns hilarious, cringe-making and shocking - the ending surprised me - the TV play leaves a lot unrevealed, but shows a lot about the middle classes in 1970's Britain (I assume, I wasn't there at the time!).

The Alesha Show (Manchester Apollo)

'Welcome to the Alesha Shoooooooooow!!'

There are no words for how much I enjoyed The Alesha Show last night at the Manchester Apollo, but I'll try anyway!

Alesha Dixon looked fantastic in a series of sparkly outfits, some with slinky long black gloves, one an elegant long dress and another with a pink feathery creation on the back. Alesha has killer legs and she had them out all through the show. The dancing was amazing - occasionally she would let the music or her backing singers entertain our ears as she worked on our eyes with some fantastic dance routines. 

The set list ran as follows:

1. 'Welcome to the Alesha Show' - One of my favourites on the album, and it's only an intro! Which says nothing about the quality of the rest of the album I might add. Alesha appeared on stage as in at a stage revue, the pink curtains were pulled back to reveal her sat aloft a trapeze (though sadly there were no Pink-style acrobatics).

2. 'Fired Up' - An interesting first song proper, since it's from her unreleased first album.

3. 'Let's Get Excited' - I certainly did.

4. 'Cinderella Shoe' - Who knows what this song's about, but it's brilliant.

5. 'Chasing Ghosts' - A slower song from The Alesha Show, just amazing really.

6. 'Breathe Slow' - After a costume change into a more conservative looking dress (with a massive slit up it to show off her legs of course) Alesha performed one of her best ballads. No, her BEST ballad. As when I saw her at Leeds' Party in the Park, a lot of the singing was done by the audience. I was afraid at one point it was going to become the hideous dance remix of the song that accompanies the video, but thankfully not.

7. 'Can I Begin' - A lovely number that Alesha explains is about her desire to find new love. Aww.

8. 'Don't Ever Let Me Go'

9. Mis-teeq Medley ('All I Want', 'Can't Get It Back', 'One Night Stand', 'B With Me', 'Why?', Scandalous') - Before the show we were wondering if Alesha would do a Mis-teeq song or two, and tried to think of some. We could only remember (so so so) Scandalous but once Alesha began the medley the 'hits' came flooding back. Mis-teeq reminds me of nights out in Skipton in the summers between university semesters. This section of the evening was much more fantastic than you'd expect, and Scandalous is such a great song. At one point Alesha talked to the crowd and thanked us for our support, and she said that she understands that some people might night have liked Mis-teeq because they were a bit *insert Alesha street-style rap here*!

10. 'Hand It Over' - After the massively up-tempo Mis-teeq Medley things slowed down a bit with this one. I can't even remember it from the album, never mind the show!

11. 'Play Me' - Before my favourite Alesha track EVER, we were treated to a musical interlude of N.E.R.D.'s 'She Wants To Move' and Alesha showed off the moves that made that video so memorable. And then 'Play Me' - if she'd not done this one I think I would've asked for my money back! Well, not quite. I really loosened up and danced to this... but I seemed to be the only one! Maybe because it wasn't a single, but for some reason the crowd wasn't feeling 'Play Me'. Weird. I LOVED IT.

12. 'Lipstick' - The big(?) single from Fired Up, Alesha's unreleased first album (that they were selling in the foyer on memory sticks, an excellent idea, though I already have my imported copy from Japan - good old eBay), I forget how good this one is.

13. 'Knockdown' - The third song from Fired Up (against 10 from The Alesha Show, the new single and the Mis-teeq Medley) is ok, live Alesha turned it into an excuse to get members of the audience onstage to perform a bit of a dance routine. She's so lovely when she's talking to the crowd - not in a cloying way, but in a way that you can tell she genuinely loves what she does, and loves making people happy through the music.

14. 'To Love Again' - The new, Gary Barlow co-written single. This was the first time I've heard this all the way through and I've got to say that I'm not that convinced by it. Alesha's best when she's uptempo, however she's got a beautiful voice for ballads too, as proved by 'Breathe Slow' particularly, but this one's not very exciting. After this song Alesha said her good byes, but of course she had one last song...

15. 'The Boy Does Nothing' - Preceding the song was an opportunity for Alesha to show off what a superb dancer she is - her sense of humour really comes through on many of the routines too. The music sounded a bit 'Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend' until it built up into the fantastic 'The Boy Does Nothing'. An excellent (obvious!) song to end The Alesha Show.

I thoroughly enjoyed The Alesha Show, and I look forward to seeing Alesha Dixon live again soon!

Cockles and Muscles / Crustacés et Coquillages (2005)

The clocks went back last night. Everyone says you get an extra hour in bed. If you've got a body clock like mine though, it just means you're up an hour earlier. So I used my extra hour usefully and watched the French movie, Cockles and Muscles.

I like a French movie - a lot of the ones I've seen have not much plot, but lots of interesting characters. Not to mention a liberal attitude to nudity and sexuality. I recorded this one from a graveyard showing on BBC2 last week, and it was well worth it. Why do all the good little movies get tucked away?

Cockles and Muscles is a farce of sorts, featuring an initially rather normal family on holiday on the French coast (I'm not sure where exactly). Slowly we discover that the mother is having an affair, the son (who mother suspects is gay) is straight, but his sexy best friend isn't, and maybe the father isn't either... The humour is mostly subtle and plays off the interactions of the characters as they cheat and lie about relationships and sexuality. Despite the deceit, the movie has a happy (musical) ending and there is no malice or nastiness going on. 

I particularly like that the son is happy for his parents to think he's gay, just because it pisses his dad off, and the fact that his best friend (played by the skinny but beautiful Édouard Collin, in shower on left...) yearns for his friend quite openly is lovely. Every actor is brilliant, but Valeria Bruni Tedeschi as the mother is a stand out, as is Collin. I've not seen any of these actors in anything before, but I'd happily watch them in something again. 

One of the repeated themes in the movie involves the shower, where every male character gets to have a masturbation scene! The father turns off the hot water at one point to dampen everyone's libidos, to comic effect. 

A very funny film, with a pretty cast and a nice upbeat tone that is kept up all the way til the end. A hidden gem.

Bring It On (2000)

I love Bring It On. It's as simple as that. I've lost count of how many times I've seen it, but this Friday I saw it again for the first time in a long time, and it's still fabulous (who knew?).

A US teen movie about cheerleaders shouldn't be this good. Bring It On defies convention by having a great script full of pseudo-valleyspeak and knowing humour, while the cast are all attractive and their performances all show that they are in on the joke, without being over the top or annoying. 

As a fan of Buffy and Angel, it's always nice to see the cast doing something different (as so many faded into obscurity), and particularly when Faith and Glory both get to star in a movie together! Eliza Dushku good read the phone book and make a watchable programme - she's so very hot and has a fantastic edge to her performances, and she's amazing here.

Bring It On features one of Kirsten Dunst's best roles - much better than the soppy MJ from Spider-Man - and it also features many great supporting stars, who've sadly not done much since, judging from the imdb listing. 

One of the reasons I liked this movie when I was younger, and one of the things that I love about it now, is Huntley Ritter's character, Les. I doubt there were many US movies made in 2000 that were aimed at the teen market that featured a well-adjusted, non-angst-ridden, accepting gay character like Les. He's a breath of fresh air in a genre that often features gay stereotypes as the butt of jokes. Here Les is one of the 2 main male cheerleaders, the other is Jan, who is straight - the joke being that the football players are always ribbing him for being gay since he's a cheerleader, and then the movie puts two fingers up to this sort of cliche by actually featuring a gay cheerleader. Is it post-modern? Ironic? I'm not sure, but I'm pleased they did it.

As I say, there's no issue about Les' sexuality - it's explicitly discussed once, while Eliza Dushku's Missy is trying to determine which way Jan and Les swing. The exchange between them is hilarious, sweet, and succinct:

Missy: What is your sexuality?
Les: Well, Jan's straight, and I'm... controversial.
Missy: Are you trying to tell me you speak fag?
Les: Oh, fluently.

Huntley Ritter doesn't play Les as particularly camp - at least no camper than anyone else is playing in a film about perky cheerleaders! - and so the sexuality of the character is a non-issue, really, but the writer/director seems to have a purpose for Les. There's nothing in-your-face about the message on display, but I think it's there all the same in the fact that, other than Kirsten Dunst's Torrance, he's the only character who gets some sort of a romantic sub-plot (if you can call it that).

I'd expect from movies like this that most of the characters would be paired up by the end, for a happily ever after, but Bring It On isn't that kind of film. Torrance ditches her cheating boyfriend and finds 'love' (though thankfully this is not expressed so cloyingly) by the movie's end, whereas the other characters get not even the hint of a love-story (although Jan is fairly vocal about his horniness), except for Les. It's a cute, throw-away scene that comes amidst the preparations for the big cheerleading final at the movie's finale, when Les waits for a rival cheerleader, Tim, to come backstage after he's performed:

Les: Hey. That last lift you did was amazing.
Tim: Thanks. Hey, good luck out there.
Les: Thanks, man. I'm Les.
Tim: I'm... I'm Tim.
Les: It's nice to meet you.
Tim: Hey, I'll, uh, see you around?
Les: Yeah.

And it's as simple as that. A sweet exchange that allows Les a real moment of awkward teen dialogue with his crush. It's a common enough scene for heterosexuals in Hollywood fare, but a rarity for gays. Huntley Ritter's performance is pitch perfect, showing nerves and a palpable sense of relief when everything goes well.

There are many reasons to love Bring It On, but Huntley Ritter's Les is the one that I most care for. And it just so happes that he's rather hot - allowing a hot gay boy a frisson of sexuality and a happy ending in a teen movie?? That's awesome, oh wow! Like, totally freak me out! I mean, right on!

The Inimitable Jeeves (P.G. Wodehouse, 1923)

I've recently finished the second Jeeves & Wooster book of a 10-book collection that I got from the fantastic Book People, where I tend to buy books or collections on a whim since they're so cheap! I'm pleased with the Jeeves & Wooster purchase so far. 

The first book I read in the series was Carry On, Jeeves (1925) which was a collection of short stories. And according to Wikipedia, The Inimitable Jeeves is also a collection of short stories, but I hadn't realised this since there were connecting threads throughout. Oh well, it makes no difference, it just means that they all added up to a more satisfying whole than the previous collection.

Carry On, Jeeves was a good introduction to the characters of Bertie Wooster, his trusty manservant Jeeves, and Bertie's friend Bingo Little. The style of P.G. Wodehouse's writing is easy and flows wonderfully, with some fantastic language - lots of 'don't you knows' and 'what whats'! I like the innocence of Bertie Wooster and the 1920's world he inhabits, where the most disastrous events that can happen to he and his friends are being cut off from wealthy relatives or falling in love with the wrong women.

The thread running through The Inimitable Jeeves is Bertie's continual frustration with Bingo Little's romantic urges. Bingo is forever falling in love with inappropraite women, and it's up to Bertie and the inimitable Jeeves to help him out of sticky situations through often devious means. I'm not sure what the actual novels will be like, but these first 2 books have been a collection of 'how done it's', in that you always know that Jeeves is going to think of a way around Bertie's particular problems, but you don't know how he did it until the end of the particular storyline. 

It's not cutting edge, and it's not full of forensic crime (as a lot of the fiction I read is), but The Inimitable Jeeves is a great, easy, often hilarious read, where the quality of the language is as important as the plot. 

Madonna: Celebration - Die Another Day (2002) to Celebration (2009)

58. Die Another Day (2002) Madonna's Bond theme. This divided many people, but I personally think it's not just a great Madonna track, but a worthy addition to the modern Bond universe. The video features a brutal Madonna dancing and being tortured in the same way as 007 is at the beginning of the movie. And then she's fencing with herself, again in a nod to her cameo in Die Another Day. The gritty look suits Madonna here, and the fencing scenes are an improvement on her wooden turn in the movie proper. Why is it she acts perfectly well in music videos, but then comes a cropper with actual dialogue. I like the Bond references in the end of the video - Oddjob, Blofeld's cat, Ursula Andress' bikini, the woman painted gold. A very cinematic video is a hit with me! #3

59. American Life* (2003) The original video was deemed too controversial by Madonna herself and replaced with a less exciting one, but neither appears on the Celebration collection. Version 1: Hot male models on a catwalk are dressed in combat fatigues (there are some female models too). Madonna is also dressed in an army uniform, and backed by explosions. Then Madonna and her models go a bit mental in toilet cubicles. A young (Iraqi?) boy and women then parade on the catwalk, as the video intercuts images of modern warfare. The video is a lot more direct in its message than the song. Madonna's (in)famous rap is performed while she dances on the catwalk in a camouflaged vehicle, and in front of the stars and stripes. A George Bush lookalike catches the grenade thrown by our heroine at the end, and lights his cigar with it - it's a lighter! Madonna is very angry in this version of the video, and you can see why she withdrew it - it's not very patriotic for the young American men and women giving their lives in the war, whatever her feelings about the legitimacy of it. Version 2: Madonna is still wearing the uniform from the first version, and singing directly into the camera, but there are no catwalks, no images of warfare, just the flags of many nations in the background. This video is odd because the song is about American Life and the video has national flags of (possibly) every country. It's obvious there's supposed to be a message here, but it was a lot more explicit in the first version. If it wasn't for the editing, this would be quite a boring video. #2 

60. Hollywood (2003) Another comment on the state of America, this time celebrity is in the firing line. A dark haired, almost unrecognisible Madonna is writing while on the phone, and then she's flame haired, dancing on the bed, and then blond and stroking a chair... Oh look, she's straddling a TV that appears to be playing a bit of an old video from the Erotica/Sex book era. Lovely scenes of Madonna being injected with Botox, before she exercises on a big inflatable ball. I'm amazed how different Madonna looks with just a different hair colour. I love the song, so very electro, and the video is wonderfully colourful, and leads to a great ending where Madonna just pulls the plug on the TV. #2 

61. Love Profusion (2003) The final single from American Life - I didn't even know it was released! Judging by the chart position, neither did many other people. The video has Madonna looking her age, rather than bending her legs behind her bed, with natural hair and a sensible flowery dress. She's walking the whole time as the scenery changes around her - she's walking through a city, and then along a bit of beach inbetween some CGI flowers, until she begins to crawl and then life in the ocean with some fish... Walking again, this time on petals, as the ocean is above her, and the sky below - it all looks like a relaxing screensaver. It's an unassuming song with a video to match. No controversy or social commentary here. Unless you think that fairies are controversial... #11

62. Hung Up (2005) And we're now at the Confessions on a Dancefloor era, and the amazing Abba-sampling Hung Up. With this video Madonna decides we've not seen enough of the things her body can do, so she shows off a bit. While she's contorting herself and thrusting her crotch about in a dance studio, we also get to see people travelling in a taxi, employees in a takeaway dance, and... I'm confused about the locations. I was sure it was set in America at the beginning, but then there's a black London cab, and the tube. There's a raw, urban feel to the outdoor scenes anyway. Then Madonna's dancing in a back alley, before busting some moves on a dance machine. It's fantastic to see and hear a Madonna track that's just all about getting up and dancing. #1

63. Sorry (2005) Beginning with Madonna saying sorry in myriad languages in front of pink lights, the video continues where Hung Up left off, as Madonna leaves the club she was in with ger girl friends. They jump into the back of a white van and Madonna changes into a sparkly silver outfit, once more with her legs very much on show. Driving around, Madonna and co stop to pick up random people from the streets, including a big fatty man, and a topless body-builder. The van lets it's passengers out at a caged dance-area where Madonna and her posse show a group of black dancers how to put your leg behind your head before they move on the roller disco. Disco balls a-go-go! There's a very retro vibe in the song that is accentuated perfectly with the video. #1

64. Get Together (2005) Apparently, the shots of Madonna in this video were taken live at the Koko Club, but it's hard to tell as the video effects disguise this fact through the use of colours and inserts. This is a very visually arresting video that's difficult to describe! It's mostly black, with splashes of colour, reds, blues, pinks, like a kaleidoscope effect. #7

65. Jump (2005) The final release from Confessions is one of my favourites from the album. Madonna's in a blonde wig here, very different to the preceding 3 videos. She's dancing in front of neon signs for hotels, etc. Meanwhile, dancers are free/base jumping (parkour, according to Wikipedia) around Tokyo - they're jumping see, like the song. How odd not to see Madonna's legs on show. #9

66. Hey You* (2007) A sweet song that takes us back to basics with stripped back music to showcase Madonna's vocals. This one slipped under the radar as a single (released digitally) and came from the Live Earth album/event. Madonna doesn't feature in the video, which plays as if it were one of those worthy pieces they play at Live Earth/Children in Need/Live 8/Comic Relief with scenes of world leaders, war, technology, ecology, natural disasters, etc. The only non-docu bit is when the chorus flashes up on the screen, one word at a time. I like the song, and wish it appeared on a Madonna album. #187

67. 4 Minutes (2008) It's only taken 67 singles to get to Madonna's latest studio album, Hard Candy! Timbaland and Justin Timberlake feature in the video and song for Madonna's crowd-following latest. She really didn't need to use Justin - it's not like EVERYBODY else has! Madonna's collaboration with Britney was more interesting (not included here since Madonna was just the featured artist), but that's not to say I don't like the song, it's just I expect something 'new' from Madonna, like Hung Up was. Oh well, fingers crossed for the next album! This song took a little longer to grow on me, but now I can't get it out of my head. Madonna and Justin dance their way through various locations, while a massive digital clock counts down in the background. I like the scene with Madonna in front of the bathroom mirror, with Justin as her reflection. What's with the see-through bits though, where we can see their muscles beneath the skin? Odd. #1

68. Give It 2 Me (2008) Beginning with Madonna once more in a dance studio, a la Hung Up,  there's a black and white Madonna in a hat on hand too. There are random flashes of Pharrell Williams, another rent-a-rapper in the Justin mould. Madonna's big enough without needing these extraneous artists. The song is another grower. I like the video, it's quite simple really, but the artsy black and white, frenetically edited bits are great. #7

69. Miles Away (2008) The final single from Hard Candy, it charted at 39 in the UK, dropped to 68 and then out of the chart! This has less to say about the quality of the single than it does about the poor promotion and the digital release world we have to live in *sigh*. This is a live performance video with a difference, being that around the performance we have scenes of Madonna preparing for the tour, travelling between venues, stadiums filling with people, cheering fans, etc. #39

70. Celebration (2009) And finally... Madonna's latest single and the last video for this loooong review. Thankfully this sounds more like Confessions than Hard Candy, it makes me want to get up and dance! Madonna's looking fab at 50+ in the video in a tasteful but sexy dress and long black boots. Another simple video concept - Madonna and various dancers in front of a white or black background, dancing and edited to the beat of the music. The shades Madonna wears create yet another look - has she not done sunglasses before?? An excellent song and video to round off a fantastic retrospective of this amazing artist's lengthy career. As Madonna's contract with Warner expires and she begins a new era with Live Nation, I say, Madonna is dead! Long live Madonna!

Skins: Series 3 (2009)

I've recently finished watching series 3 of Skins, having recorded it all earlier in the year. I loved the first two series, which had a completely different lead cast of lovable, likable characters.

It was therefore with some trepidation that I approached the new series, with an entirely new cast of youngsters, except Effy (centre, above) and Pandora (4th from right), who'd had minor roles previously. Initial impressions were not good, but after episode 3 things improved. Not to the heights of series 1 or 2, but series 3 of Skins carved its own niche. One of the best aspects of the show are the adult cameos from British comedy stars, including a never-better Harry Enfield, a marvellous Sally Phillips and a surprising non-Dougalesque turn from Ardal O'Hanlon.

The strength (or not) of Skins comes from its young characters, and this series they seemed to do more drugs, drink more than a human could ever manage and sleep with anything with a pulse. Hedonism was the watch-word in a big way, and it was this that put me off a little, as I couldn't identify with it. I'm only 25, but I'm sure the youth of today doesn't behave like these characters, do they?? If they do, Britain's fucked! If the series aimed to hold a mirror up to youth culture to warn its young audience of the dangers of alcohol and drugs then they did a good job of showing the emotional destruction that such behaviour can bring, but the message may have been a bit too subtle. 

So to this year's characters, none of whom was as lovable as Chris or Sid or Cassie or Maxxie.

Cook, to the right of Effy above, proved to be an utterly obnoxious prick from episode one, and his arc never deviated from this path. In the first series Tony was a nasty piece of work who manipulated his friends and caused mayhem, and the show's producers had the good sense to hit him with a bus at the end of series 1 and then succeeded in making him sympathetic through series 2. Here though, despite my best wishes, Cook only gets beaten up a few times, and even by the final episode when he meets and bests his dad, he's still a complete cock. The best bits of the series didn't feature him.

Freddie (left of Effy) was this year's hottie (although no match for Maxxie or Chris, boo), but he spent a lot of the time looking sullen. I couldn't decide if this was because the actor wasn't very good or if this was his character trait, I think that it was the latter. His sister (far right) was a much more interesting character, but she was more of a supporting character. My favourite of the guys was JJ (2nd from left), who actually seemed to possess a brain, something distinctly lacking from either Cook or Freddie who spent most of their time pining for or shagging Effy. JJ's episode was so sweet and I hope he gets a lot more screentime next series. Rounding out the regular cast of guys is Thomas. He was introduced in episode 2 or 3 and was a refreshingly innocent character, unfortunately after this point he was relegated to no more than a bit player. 

There were more girls than guys in this Skins cast, and they also benefitted from being much more interesting characters than the boys. Leading the show was Effy, Tony's little sister from series 1 and 2, who had previously been a voiceless presence in her brother's life. Now with Tony gone and her parents breaking up, Effy acts out as much as she can. She'll sleep with anyone, take anything and hurt who she likes, but she's not a vindictive character, more often she comes off as bored, just doing the things she does because she wants to. I thought that she was a good character, but many of her scenes involved Cook, so that put me off her a bit!

Pandora was this year's Cassie - the slightly off-key, slightly demented one. She had a wonderful way with words, and boasted Maureen Lipman as her aunt, so what's not to love! Unfortunately she lost her way when she started having it off with Cook and cheating on Thomas, at which point Panda lost her innocence and became another sullen Effy-alike. 

One of this year's 'gimmicks' were the twin characters of Katie and Emily (spot them in the photo above! I can't tell them apart visually, but Katie had a lisp, so that helped!). Katie was one of the most underwritten of the new cast, mostly she was a bitch with no discernable motivation. The most satisfying storyline of the series involved Emily's emergence from the closet (to indifference, mostly) and her persual of Naomi (3rd from left). Naomi's confusion about her feelings for Emily, both characters need to be loved by someone, and the drunken fumblings that ensued were believable and felt organic. I hope they develop further in series 4. 

Series 3 of Skins added up to more than the sum of its parts and ultimately was fun, funny and emotionally effective, despite the central prescence of Cook - maybe they can hit him with a bus next series?

The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)

I have always remembered The Man With The Golden Gun as one of the weakest in the series (along with Moonraker), but having revisited it tonight I'm pleased to find that I was mistaken. This Bond is actually very good, almost reminiscent of OHMSS for how good.

There are weaknesses, which I shall get out of the way first. The main one is the unwelcome return of the 'comic' relief character, Sheriff JW Pepper from Live and Let Die. First you think he's got a shoe-horned cameo, and then he done fall in the water (like Bring On The Wall...). But then he like a bad smell he returns as Bond's 'sidekick' in a car chase sequence. He's obnoxious, unfunny and every so slightly racist and appears to think he's in a much broader comedy than Bond can allow. Thankfully we never see him again. Like OHMSS, occasionally the plot takes some concentration, and there's a habit here of having scenes with M where nothing except exposition is thrown at you to digest and remember for later. 

Actually one of the greatest sets in the seris so far occurs during one of these M expositions - MI5 has a secret base in a half-sunken ship in the waters off Thailand! And due to the fact that the ship is half submerged, it is on a tilt, and all of the sets are at an angle, making for some interesting and quirky scenes. M gets some great lines here, and it's good to have Q back since his hiatus in Live and Let Die (Moneypenny only gets a single brief scene though), although there aren't really any gadgets on display here, unless you count a fake nipple...

Christopher Lee is great as Scaramanga, and I especially like how the movie moves to its climactic showdown between him and 007 through the former's vanity. He may be using the solex agitator (or 'MacGuffin') to make himself rich, but his motivation for wanting to fight Bond is more than just greed - his other sin is pride. It's good to see Bond using his espionage skills here too, rather than just gadgets, although EVERYONE seems to have heard of him in this movie! 

I'd forgotten as well how much Maud Adams is in this movie - she goes on to be the female lead in Octopussy - and she's great. Britt Eckland as Mary Goodnight is perhaps a bit underused, and it's nice to see her initially turn down 007, but she does end up becoming a bit of a stereotype ditzy blond with little depth. She's makes for a few good puns though. 

Roger Moore's punning technique is put to excellent use here. For example: 'I am now aiming precisely at your groin. So speak or forever hold your piece.' And I love the nearly-Bond girl named Chew Mee! The humour is set at just the right level without being OTT (except when Sheriff Pepper turns up...). There aren't as many action sequences here and no real memorable set pieces, except the jump with the car turning 360 degrees - this would have been improved without the comedy sound-effect. I did quite like Scaramanga's shooting range, seen in the pre-credits sequence and at the final showdown - there was something very 'Avengers' about it (and in the skewed sunken ship sets come to think of it), even if it did give away how Bond was going to defeat Scaramanga before Lulu began to warble the title song. 

So in summary, a great Bond all round.

Up (2009)

Pixar's first 9 movies have been absolutely fantastic pieces of art, and I'm glad to say that Up, their 10th, does nothing to spoil this run. 
I found it interesting that when we went to see Up in 3-D on Wednesday the cinema was full of young twenty-somethings like myself. I was expecting kids! Maybe since Toy Story came out while I and my fellow cinema goers that evening were at a formative age (I was 11 in 1995) and we've all grown up with Pixar. Or maybe everyone was there to witness a wonderful spectacle, because that's what Up provided, in spades.

Now I'm a bit skeptical about 3-D movies, I've only seen a couple, Beowulf and Monsters vs Aliens. The former was improved by the addition of the 3-D element, and the latter was complemented nicely. I've also seen Bolt and Coraline, which were released in 3-D, in standard 2-D versions only, and I think that because Bolt was a weaker movie, it would have been improved by 3-D, whereas Coraline would probably work either way. Basically I think that a movie needs to justify being in 3-D, especially when it costs so much more to see one! If a movie is improved by 3-D then it clearly wasn't a very good one in the first place. 

Up neither benefited nor suffered from being in 3-D, but it certainly made for an even more rewarding experience than a standard 2-D version probably would. 3-D added depth to the backgrounds/scenery, but not to the story and the characters - that depth was already present and correct. 

After The Incredibles, Ratatouille and WALL-E, which all deviated in many ways from their buddy-movie predecessors, Up presents a further step beyond what is normal or usual for an animated movie. In the first 5 or 10 minutes a montage sequence shows the elderly protagonist as he grows from childhood to old age with the girl who becomes his wife and companion, and the animation and music tell a story that negates the need for dialogue - in this sequence we learn that Carl's wife is unable to have a child, and shortly after we see Ellie fall as an old lady, before a brief scene at her funeral... Emotional scenes for an animated movie! Move over Bambi's mother, these scenes go straight for your tear-ducts, although not in any way that feels manipulative. It all feels real. I don't cry at movies, but I felt tears welling up no less than 3 times during the course of Up. 

I think adults will get more out of Up than kids would, although there's probably enough to keep them busy. Hang on - are animations supposed to engross the kids and have just enough to keep adults busy?? I love how Pixar doesn't water down their tales for kids. After the initial heartbreak in the opening scenes, Up moves on to become a hilarious adventure story, with Carl and his new found Wilderness Explorer sidekick, Russell, floating Carl's house down to South America so that our elderly hero can have the life he always planned to have with his wife. 

Along the way Carl and Russell an exotic bird named Kevin, a whole pack of 'talking' dogs and Up's dastardly villain. There's so much imagination and emotion going on, I was conscious of the big goofy grin I had on my face throughout. The animation, of course, is flawless, and absolutely breathtaking, particularly in some of the 3-D sequences as the house floats above the South American landscapes. 

The character of Russell is a bundle of joy. What could have been a very irritating character turns out to be lovable, as his boundless enthusiasm tranlates to the audience (well , me anyway). One of the most impressive aspects of Up's story is the way it doesn't condescend to explain what's going on in Carl or Russell's head through exposition or forced heart to hearts between the characters - so much is conveyed through their emotions and images, in the same way that WALL-E before it accomplished so much through minimal dialogue. 

I could go on and on about all of the many things that I loved about Up (and the short that preceded it, Partly Cloudy), but I won't. I would just encourage anyone and everyone to see it, and challenge them not to be sweet Up in the emotional adventure.

Madonna: Celebration - You Must Love Me (1996) to What It Feels Like for a Girl (2001)

45. You Must Love Me* (1996) The first single to be taken from Evita features clips from the movie musical. It's a few years since I saw it, but I assume the footage in the video is from the appropriate point in the movie. You Must Love Me is a mournful ballad, played over scenes of Eva Peron's illness, with a montage of clips from Eva's happier times. #10

46. Don't Cry for Me Argentina* (1996) A classic song, it's strange that it wasn't the first single from the album/movie. Madonna's version is brilliant, though not as haunting as Sinead O'Connor's. Again, as with the other Evita singles, the music video shows footage of the movie. I like Madonna in this movie, it suits her since she doesn't have to act, just sing and perform. Such a contrast to the Bedtime Stories and Erotica era that preceded it.  #3

47. Another Suitcase in Another Hall* (1997) A third ballad from Evita - why not the upbeat Buenos Aires? More clips from the movie. I want to watch it again! #7

48. Frozen (1998) And we finally reach the Ray of Light era, and Frozen, which was the first Madonna track I was aware of, and was completely different to anything that came before. This and The Immaculate Collection introduced me to Madonna when I was a teenager, and I've not looked back! In this video, Madonna is clad in a long, black dress, with long, black tresses. Several of these Madonna's dance ethereally on a beach/desert/quarry/scorched earth? as black crows, dogs and horses are conjured from the air. The video perfectly suits the laid back vocals. Madonna is really toned down in both her style of singing and in the video. I'd go so far as to say that this is my all-time favourite Madonna track, and one of the best videos to accompany it. #1

49. Ray of Light (1998) A more upbeat single, and a much more frenetic video! Madonna's back to a familiar blonde (though not platinum!) and superimposed over scenes of a life in a city, played at double speed, as time-lapse footage. The video showcases a more grown-up Madonna, not flashing her bits or generating controversy, it feels like the music is coming from a new place. Madonna's not even featured in this video that much, there seem to be more scenes of city life. I like the bit towards the end where everything slows down a little and Madonna is not convulsing across the screen, but framed by an orange sunset, until life begins again, at night, and at this point she actually takes part in the city-scenes, dancing manically in the disco. An amazing four minutes, visually and aurally. #2

50. Drowned World/Substitute for Love* (1998) Not a double-A side, but a song with two titles for some reason. This single slows things down a bit, more Frozen than Ray of Light. The video finds Madonna being bundled into a limo amidst baying fans. Hiding behind her hair and sunglasses in the back of the limo, Madonna laments the pressures of fame as paparazzi on motorbikes try to take her photo. Arriving at her venue, she walks alone through the back corridors to a party, which she quickly flees. The video is showing that fame is a substitute for love, until she arrives home to her daughter, at which point Madonna seems happy. Awww. #10

51. The Power of Good-Bye (1998) Black-haired Madonna plays chess with an attractive young man, while also singing in front of a large curtain. The video makes Madonna look strikingly beautiful, maybe it's the brunette look? She soon decides she doesn't like chess, and brushes all the pieces to the floor to kiss her friend instead, which she immediately regrets and goes out on the balcony to think about what she's done. Out she goes to the beach to have a cry, and then it appears that she's killed herself in the surf, but she hasn't really. A gorgeous video, with a song to match. The Ray of Light era continues to impress. #6

52. Nothing Really Matters* (1999) The final single from Ray of Light, and the video is in a much more surreal vein to the singles that preceded it. Madonna is almost unrecognisable in white face makeup, with a red stripe across her eyes, dressed in a big black bin-bag-kimono. Until the track speeds up, and she's in a red kimono, getting a bit frantic in a corridor, while white-faced Japanese characters in robes go a bit mental. Madonna's not done anything this weird since the Bedtime Stories era. It does seem to fit the music though, if not the lyrics. #7

53. Beautiful Stranger (1999) Taken from the second Austin Powers movie, the video features Mike Myers prominently. Basil Exposition warns Austin about a woman who has been seducing agents (including 007 and 008), and shows stills of Madonna's previous 'looks', as she's a master of disguise. After the comedy prologue, the song starts and Austin begins his mission as he approaches Madonna, dancing on stage in a club (the muscly arms are here!). This is a much more imaginative way of promoting a movie through a music video, and Mike Myers has a lot of fun with his role. Madonna thrusts her crotch at Austin from the stage, and then in scenes of Austin driving his Shaguar she's thrusting her breasts or bum in his face. Nice. Madonna looks amazing in this video, and the song is fab too. The video ends with Austin telling Madonna that she's 'going the right way for a smack bottom'. Brilliant. #2

54. American Pie (2000) Originally taken from The Next Best Thing soundtrack, and then slapped on the end of the Music album, this is Madonna's 'controversial' cover. I like it, not having heard the original before. Madonna wears blue jeans and a tiara as she dances in front of a large stars and stripes, alongside scenes of American Life (hang on, that's not for a couple of years yet...) and members of the US public (probably) of every size, shape, sexuality, sex, etc. Oh and then Rupert Everett turns up for a cameo, since he's Madonna's co-star in the movie. #1

55. Music (2000) After Austin Powers, Madonna gets down with the youth with a video featuring the comedy-stylings of Ali G. This dates the video a little, and isn't as funny as before, but I do like how Ali G tells Madonna that her babalons look less big than they do the telly... Madonna looks fantastic here, riding around in the back of Ali G's limo in her Music-era hat and bling. I forget how ace this track is! There's a really random animated section in the middle of the video, featuring Madonna knocking over signs of old song-titles. Love it when Ali calls Madonna 'Maradona'. For real. Respec'. Madonna ends up hanging out in a lap-dancing club and taking some of the strippers for a ride in her limo, like some kind of lesbian gangster kingpin. It's a bizarre video for an unusual song. #1 

56. Don't Tell Me (2000) Madonna's got her cowboy hat out again for a more conventional track than Music (not much though!). The hat falls off and we discover she's not actually walking down the road, but on a travelator in front of a big screen projection of scenes of the American west. Madonna makes line-dancing look cool, in her jeans and checked shirt - is there anything she can't do?? The video is reminiscent of that for American Pie in it's celebration of American tradition and Madonna's mostly solo performance in front of the camera. #4

57. What It Feels Like for a Girl (2001) The final single from Music, the third to come directly from it - quite a low single count for Madonna! Oh, this is a remixed version of the song! I've never heard this before! I love the album version of this track, so it's odd that she's turned it in to some sort of dance anthem for the video. In the video, a boiler-suit clad Madonna picks up an old lady in her flashy yellow sports car, before proceeding to crash into a car, tazer a man at a cash point, scratch a cop car, pulling a gun on said cops, driving erratically and generally not being very nice. Is the video saying that Madonna would get away with this antisocial behaviour if she wasn't a 'girl'? I'm not sure. She finally wraps a sporty red car around a lamp-post. The Guy Ritchie-directed video is good, but I really do not like what has been done to the song. It's terrible. #7

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008)

Oh I do love a High School Musical! And not just because they star the delicious Zac Efron, as seen here in a leaked scene from the third movie that didn't make the final cut.

I saw the first HSM on TV a couple of Christmases ago and enjoyed it a lot, and then I got the second one on DVD and loved it even more! The soundtrack albums were swiftly purchased, and though I've only seen each movie once, I've heard the songs many, many times. Sharpay, Ryan and Troy are my favourites, as they get all the best songs, 'Get Ya Head In The Game', 'Fabulous' and 'Bet On It' are fantastic to (sing and) dance to. 

I enjoy the innocence of the movies, the very Disneyfication that turns some people away automatically. It's odd, I sometimes think I'm a cynical person, yet I love this kind of thing, and there's not a whiff of guilty pleasure about it - these movies and their soundtracks are just pleasures to me.

Despite enjoying the first two made-for-TV HSM movies, I didn't go to see number 3, Senior Year, at the cinema, and only got round to watching it a couple of weeks ago. I think I was a bit unsure as to how it would translate and whether the big screen would reveal how silly the other movies were. How wrong I was.

HSM3 is a step up from the others on several levels, mainly acting, dance set pieces and the sheer glossy scale of the production. Troy's still the perfect all American boy we all want to be (with), and Gabriella is still the bland love interest with nothing very exciting to say (I'm not jealous of her or anything, give me some credit) and Sharpay is the most glamorous, Mean-Girls-lite scene stealer of the movie. If the songs aren't as instantly memorable as in HSM2 then the choreography more than made up for it. 

Some may find the whole story a bit obvious and twee, but I genuinely felt they did something that while not wholly original, made sense and felt more grown up than before. I know it's silly that Troy and Gabriella manage to be together for a couple of years without the whisper of sex, and there's no alcohol or smoking going on, but what's wrong with a little wholesomeness every now and then? It's a great antidote to the normal cynical portrayals of teenages (see Skins, series 3 review coming soon!) and allows a little escapism in an often scary real world. Having mentioned the lack of sex, however, I swear Zac Efron's gazes at Vanessa Hudgens were mentally undressing her, they were crammed with lust. Maybe that's wishful thinking on my part?

No matter what people say about Zac Efron, I think the guy can act. And sing. And dance. (Not just here, but in Hairspray too, another of my favourites). While I find Vanessa Hudgens and Corbin Bleu a bit underwhelming (the latter was underused in HSM3, and really, across the whole series), I hope that Ashley Tisdale and Lucas Grabeel go on to outlive their HSM roles as they're fantastic comic actors and they really light up every scene they're in. One of the stand out scenes is their duet about world domination, 'I Want It All', and one of the disappointments of the movie is that neither gets another song to themselves. Boo! There are too many Troy and Gabriella duets in this one, although Zac Efron gets a great song called 'Scream' to work out his vocal chords.

So the highlights of HSM3 are: Zac Efron, Sharpay and Ryan, amazing dance sequences, and a more satisfying plot. The downsides: Not enough songs for Ryan and Sharpay, the underwritten newcomers, and the lack of a shower scene for Mr Efron.

Madonna: Celebration - Erotica (1992) to Love Don't Live Here Anymore (1996)

30. Erotica (1992) A nice and sleazy look to his slice of filth, with voyeurism and SEX the main themes here. S&M eh? You don't see that in many music videos. Hmm, now Madonna is fellating the arm of a puppet... Her Sex book was out around this time - me thinks she was courting controversy again... #3

31. Deeper and Deeper (1992) We continue the sleaze with a video that opens with a guy shouting in a foreign language, before Madonna drives to a 1970's disco. The colourful disco scenes are inter-cut with monochrome scenes of the club's back rooms and the shouting man from the opening. Madonna's now watching a man clad only in tighty-whities and black socks squat on a mattress while she and her friend eat bananas. Now there's a seance, tarot cards, and a pillow fight. I've completely lost the meaning of this video, especially what it has to do with the song, which I do like a lot. #6 

32. Bad Girl* (1993) David Fincher's last video so far for Madonna. Christopher Walken's in it! I hope he dances like he does in Weapon of Choice! Madonna appears to be playing a high-powered executive, first at the office and now at a bar, snogging a stranger in lift... Walken's watching her across a swish-looking diner while they smoke. Walken's floating above her bed... he's not dancing there though. Madonna seems to be depressed, drinking on her own and smoking a lot, at least she's covered herself up for this video, and looks quite classy. I think Walken is her guardian angel, or her stalker. It's not clear. Oh, her lover has just killed her, and now she's floating off with Walken. Right. This one has a plot! And it looks just gorgeous, like a mini movie. The song's good, but not as memorable as Erotica or Deeper and Deeper. #10
 
33. Fever* (1993) As far as I know, this is Madonna's first cover version released as a single. I love the song Fever, whoever's singing it. This is a very colourful video, featuring a red-haired Madonna, along with some naked men and screen-saver-style backgrounds. I particularly like silver Madonna with her forward flowing hair. #6

34. Rain (1993) Fifth single and counting from Erotica, another not-so memorable one. In contrast to the red/orange themed Fever, this one is all about the blue, while Madonna is looking sultry with short cropped hair and a long blue dress. The setting seems to be the Japanese studio where the video is being made. There are recurring uses of water, since this is Rain after all, culminating in Madonna being rained on while she stands over a sea of umbrellas. #7

35. Bye Bye Baby* (1993) This single wasn't released in the UK or USA, but it was in Australia and a few others countries, so there's a video. It's a live version of the song taken from The Girlie Show, featuring Madonna in top hat and tails, dancing with chairs and young ladies in corsets. It's the most interesting live performance-as-music video yet seen from Ms Ciccone.

36. I'll Remember (1994) After the sex-soaked Erotica album, Madonna changed direction with this ballad from the soundtrack to With Honors, it's only to be found on a Madonna album on the Something to Remember collection. She's looking sophisticated in a black dress to match her hair, as we see her in the recording booth, watching clips from the movie as they're projected in the screening room. This is a more imaginative and subtle way of working such clips in to the video than previously seen. I've never seen/heard of With Honors. It looks good though. Madonna's looking great here too. An understated song with a video to match. #7

37. Secret (1994) The first single from Bedtime Stories, it's a more low-key affair than Erotica. Again with the artsy-fartsy black and white, and featuring a predominantly black cast, I think set in Harlem. Madonna is either sat singing Secret with a band in a jazz club, or wandering down the street into the arms of her lover. Not an exciting video. #5

38. Take a Bow (1994) Spanish bullfighting is our theme here, and as the matador prepares, Madonna dresses up too, before caressing the TV as she watches the bullfight. Oh, now she's gone a bit 'Eva Peron' and with black veil in place, takes her seat in the bullring. Meanwhile, TV-watching Madonna is writhing around in ecstasy(?) on her bed. Ah I see, Madonna's been having it off with the matador, but it's all gone wrong for some reason. Anyway, I like the song. #16

39. Bedtime Story (1995) Subject: Ciccone, M. reads the opening shot, as we find Madonna in a futuristic, blue world where she's being created? But then it goes orange and she's singing in front of a massive sunflower. Now she's naked and submerged in water. It all gets very bizarre. Doves are released from her dress, men are dancing in funny big hats, there may be Buddhists around too. It's a great song, and quite obviously co-written by Bjork, I forget which one this is as it doesn't mention Bedtime Story in the chorus. In one of the weirdest bits, one of Madonna's eyes has become a mouth. Odd. #4

40. Human Nature (1995) 'Express yourself, don't repress yourself' - my favourite Bedtime Stories song and the final single from the album. Madonna is in skin-tight PVC, with corn rows in her hair, in a video where everyone wears black against a white background. The look is symmetical and nicely choreographed. A bit erotic and S&M in places, but less so than Erotica. I like the costumes in this, and Madonna's black lipstick. #8

41. I Want You (1995) Curiously, this collaboration with Massive Attack on a Marvin Gaye cover wasn't actually released as a single, but a promo video was shot and included on the Celebration DVD (when many actual releases were not included!). The song was to be the first single from Something to Remember, but You'll See took that honour instead. I honestly don't remember hearing this track before (I really must give Something to Remember another listen). The song is quite slow and the video features Madonna in her bedroom doing little of interest. She still has the nose stud she seemed to acquire around the Bedtime Stories era, thankfully it didn't last much longer, as it does little for her. Not released

42. You'll See (1995) We return to the matador of Take a Bow. Madonna sings with a lush orange background of leaves, before she's on a train that runs past the matador. This is an altogether more melancholy affair than Take a Bow, Madonna is more sad and the matador is angry. I like the colours in this one, mostly oranges, to match our heroine's hair. The affair with Mr Matador is over, leaving him on the shore, watching Madonna's plane fly overhead. #5

43. One More Chance* (1996) No official video for this one, apparently MTV made a video combining those of Rain, You'll See, I Want You and Take a Bow. #11

44. Love Don't Live Here Anymore* (1996) The original release, in Japan only, was in 1986 from the Like a Virgin album. The remixed version was released in the US, Australia and Europe, but not in the UK, in 1996 and was taken from the Something to Remember ballads compilation. I don't remember ever hearing the 1996 remix before, despite owning both versions! It's very slow, with a one-take video, that slowly zooms in on Madonna in the middle of an empty room as she sings in front of and then while caressing a massive pillar. Freudian? A good, simple video. It's a shame this version of the song is so bland and forgettable. Not released in UK

Madonna: Celebration - Who's That Girl (1987) to This Used To Be My Playground (1992)

17. Who's That Girl (1987) The eponymous first single from the movie and soundtrack. So there are some movie clips in amongst scenes of Madonna in a trenchcoat and hat that just look bizarre. A nice little piece on animation on a tarot card. Madonna's stolen a key and unlocked a chest containing... another piece of animation of our heroine. I like the song, though I usually get it confused with Eurythmics song of the same name. #1 

18. Causing a Commotion* (1987) The video for the second single from Who's That Girl is a live performance from the WTG tour in Italy. This is a better song than the previous one, but the video is unexciting. Early Madonna's tours weren't as spectacular as her more recent stadium-fillers. There are acrobatics, but no pyrotechnics! #4

19. The Look of Love* (1987) A Who's That Girl movie clipfest - there seem to be loads of these for Madonna's '80's videos.  One of Madonna's less interesting ballads. #9

20. Like a Prayer (1989) Bring on the controversy! Burning crosses! Black Jesus! Brunette Madonna! Street crime! The interesting thing about watching this video now is that it doesn't seem that controversial - perhaps I'm too hardened to such things, but then again religion isn't my bag, baby, so I'm unlikely to be offended. Although the images in the video are powerful, the message is a bit mixed. The song speaks for itself, a rocky, undisputed classic. #1

21. Express Yourself (1989) The peroxide is back, and the second single from Like a Prayer is a more glossy affair, with topless, muscular hunks, all dripping wet and working out... Needless to say, I like this one! Madonna is looking sleek in a green dress and cradling a cat, like a slim, blonde Blofeld. Now she's dancing sexily in silhouette. Madonna is expressing herself in a suit while she dances in the factory where all the topless men are. Towards the end it's all descending into a collection of confusing scenes, I've lost the thread of the plot. You can tell David Fincher directed this one. #5

22. Cherish (1989) Black and white is the order of the day for this Herb Ritts directed, beach set video. A nice bouncy lyric from Madonna as she lets the sea wash over her, alongside another half-naked collection of men, with a mermaid and a whale thrown in for good measure. I like the simplicity of this one compared to Express Yourself's excesses. #3

23. Oh Father* (1995) Taken from the Like a Prayer album, but released in the UK from the Something to Remember album, this became the 5th release from the former album so I'm including here in the chronology. So to the video - more black and white, it opens to scenes of death and funerals. David Fincher's second Madonna video (of 4) is stylish and complements the dramatic vocals and content of the song perfectly. It 'treats's us to scenes from Madonna's not so happy upbringing with her father along with religious imagery that is more subtle than in Like a Prayer. This is a good video, though the shots of sewn up lips on the body at one point is quite shocking. #16

24. Dear Jessie* (1989) Opening on a brief piece of live action footage of a sleeping child, the final single from Like a Prayer becomes an animated fantasy that follows the lyrics of the song rather sweetly. Madonna appears as a Tinkerbell-style fairy. I always forget about this song, but I do enjoy it, and the video is a lovely compliment to it. The animation styles on show are imaginative and varied, though there is some repetition. #5

25. Vogue (1990) Another classic song, with another classic video, again by Fincher. Taken from the Dick Tracy soundtrack album, I'm Breathless, Vogue doesn't appear in the movie, so thankfully there are no movie clips to be found! A third video without colour, the monochrome suits Madonna's look of the time. Everyone here is suited and booted, whether a boy or a girl. The first Madonna video with a dance routine! The conical bra is on show! Love it. #1

26. Hanky Panky* (1990) The only single taken from the Dick Tracy movie in which Madonna starred, the video is actual taken from the Blonde Ambition tour. A long haired, ponytailed Madonna dances with a hankerchief until Dick Tracy (not Warren Beatty) pops on stage for a boogie. A fun song with an OK video. #2

27. Justify My Love (1990) The first single from The Immaculate Collection, this is a very erotic song, and has a video to match - a signal of her next album's direction perhaps? B&W once more, Madonna breathlessly urges us to kiss her as she does the deed with a lady (!) as a topless Tony Ward watches. The Celebration DVD censors a dominatrix's nipples! Apparently this video was banned by MTV, I can't think why... It's just soft porn, well, mostly. Pure filth. #2

28. Rescue Me* (1991) This took some finding online. It's a collection of clips... of the Who's That Girl live tour, combining 2 of the least interesting forms of video in one package! Madonna's not even performing the song in the video, it's almost like she just released this with no care... #3

29. This Used To Be My Playground* (1992) Released as the theme to the move, A League of Their Own, it turned on a Madonna album in 1995 on Something To Remember. The pages turn on a photo album made up of video footage of Madonna singing in various locations. I was expecting clips of Tom Hanks and Rosie O'Donnell, so this was a nice surprise. Oh wait, I spoke too soon, 3 minutes in and the photos are now clips from the movie, but they don't last long so I'll forgive her. The pages are turning back now, as we move towards the front of the book and away from the guy who was looking at the 'photos'. #3

Madonna: Celebration - Everybody (1982) to La Isla Bonita (1987)

I recently acquired Madonna's new greatist hits DVD collection, Celebration, which contains most, but not all of her extensive videography. In order to get a complete overview of Madonna's work I'll be watching the DVD in conjunction with her other videos on YouTube, should they be available, and sharing my thoughts on them. Listed below, in order, are the videos and what I think of them (asterisks denote the videos that do not appear on the Celebration DVD, year of release shown in brackets, highest UK chart position in italics at end of review).

1. Everybody* (1982) Madonna's first music video. Not particularly exciting. There're no bendy Madonna moments I've come to know and love from the recent years. The song's not that great either to be fair. A bit lacklustre somehow. Annie's song, Greatest Hit, that samples Everybody is a much better piece of pop. Not released in UK

2. Burning Up (1983) As Andrew says, 'It's already 10 times more exciting than the last one!' A more energetic song gets a more energetic video. A very 80's Madonna dances about in a dark room, before moving to an empty road and prostrating herself (clothed thankfully, this is no Sex book). There are a lot of 'cutting-edge' video effects... Not released in UK

3. Lucky Star (1984) A punk-looking Madonna has a good dance in a bright white room to one of her first hit singles (apparently the video for Holiday, 1984, #2 was so bad it was never released!), and then along come a couple of backing dancers, very infrequently - they might as well not have turned up. #14

4. Borderline (1984) Looks like the budget stretches to a few more extras here. And dancers who last longer than 10 secs of screen time. There's a plot to this one I think, as far as I can gather a photographer spots Madonna on the streets and then takes her back to his studio to take a few arty (i.e. black and white) shots of her. Her new-found fame, on the cover of Gloss, which I assume is about paint, brings her attention from a street kid. This is Madonna in full-on rebellious youth mode. #2 

5. Like a Virgin (1984) Madonna is being stalked by a lion in Venice. As you do. I don't remember either of these mentioned in the song! Maybe it's the very first time the lion has touched Venice? It's difficult to watch/listen to this after Moulin Rouge! When she's not being suggestive in a wedding dress on a bed she's gyrating in a gondola. #3

6. Material Girl (1985) Not just a plot, there's a scene with dialogue at the beginning of this one! Then on to Madonna in Marilyn Monroe-mode in an excellent MGM-style musical dance number. I really like this one, and it's a great song. #3 

7. Crazy For You (1985) Taken from the Vision Quest soundtrack, this one has clips of the movie throughout, as these sort of things usually do. As usual, they don't add much to the song, just act as promotional material. According to the cast list, Madonna appears in the movie as a club singer, so I'm not sure if her bits of the video are taken straight from Vision Quest or not. Not an exciting one this. But the song's good. #2

8. Angel* (1985) I'm not sure what happened with this one, the video just seems to be clips of her previous videos to one of Madonna's more forgettable early tracks. #5 

9. Into The Groove (1985) Another movie-clip montage masquerading as a music video. At least Madonna actually had a starring role in Desperately Seeking Susan and so it feels like a bit less of a clip-fest than Crazy For You. Another fantastic song. #1

10. Dress You Up* (1985) This commits the other sin of music videos besides movie clip-fests, this is a live video taken from Madonna's Virgin Tour. There's something so unimaginative about such videos, and they're often the basis of videos for those singles that are the final release that an artist puts out and can't be bothered with. Oh look this is the last release from Like A Virgin... Yawn. #5

11. Gambler* (1985) The second and final single from the Vision Quest soundtrack, this song doesn't feature on any of Madonna's studio albums or best ofs, either The Immaculate Collection or Celebration. It's a catchy, fun pop song, so I don't know why it doesn't get any attention - alas the video is another collection of movie clips. #4

12. Live To Tell (1986) First single from True Blue, this song and video showcases a more dramatic Madonna, who looks a bit like Evita here in a bit of spooky foreshadowing. What are Sean Penn and Christopher Walken doing in this video? Oh, apparently their promoting their movie, At Close Range. No, me neither. These bits cheapen the rest of the video a bit. An amazing song either way. #2

13. Papa Don't Preach (1986) From the opening of the song I'm expecting a car advert... Madonna's changed her hair, and she's showing us scenes from her life. I think. Interestingly, this video looks like it's made up of film clips starring Madonna, interspersed with the lady herself dancing in the spotlight in a darkened room. It all gets a bit serious towards the end when Madonna tells her papa about her pregnancy. I'm not sure why, she doesn't look like a teenager... #1 

14. True Blue (1986) Oh look, it's all blue! Like the song! Madonna and her backing singers/dancers are in a '50's setting, complete with retro diner. Studio based, this one lack the realism of Papa Don't Preach. Oh look, the sun has actually burst out of the sky in the background! Someone's taking the lyrics to this one literally. Andrew can't believe this got to number 1, and it is a bit unlikely off the back of that video. #1 

15. Open Your Heart (1986) Out of the studio this time. Now she's gone a bit Liza Minelli - no, wait, the black wig's fallen off. Oh, she's an exotic dancer, being watched by sleazy men. Is Madonna saying you should open you heart rather than your legs? Because she's mostly doing the latter. Maybe she's a lonely stripper who just wants to be loved? Aww, how cockle-warming. Now she's in a suit, dancing with a young boy and cantering off into the sunset with him. Hmmm. #4

16. La Isla Bonita (1987) The fifth and final release from True Blue, this one gets a proper video! As it deserves. I like Madonna's red flamenco dress, but she needs to watch it around all those candles. There are lots of Mexicans (?) dancing outside her window, and Madonna-with-slicked-back-hair is getting tearful in her cold bedroom, while flamenco-Madonna goes out to dance in the street too. Not sure what the message is here, but I enjoyed the song. #1

Live and Let Die (1973)

Our journey through the many movies of 007 continued tonight with Roger Moore's debut in Live and Let Die. I think this is one of the more memorable James Bond movies - particularly since this is the one where I can remember every villain and Bond girl, and most of the set pieces, since the first time I saw it, years ago.

Roger Moore seems to be born to play Bond - he's suave, witty and looks good in a suit, but unfortunately Bond has now met the '70's, in particular, '70's fashions... I don't just mean the fashion of the time for blaxploitation, but the awful high-wasted flairs he sports here, along with some dodgy denim-jacket type suit affair. Still, there's worse to come, so I won't dwell on the Bond's wardrobe for long...

There's a lot to like about Live and Let Die. Away from Blofeld's plans for world domination, Kanaga/Mr Big's plans to rule the heroin trade in the USA are more believable and on a more dramatic level. The whole film seems a lot more low-key than previous efforts - Moore doesn't even get the action-hero introduction afforded George Lazenby, rather he's introduced in a nice bit of situation comedy involving M, Moneypenny, and an Italian agent hiding in his wardrobe. While the set pieces, including a bus chase and a motorboat chase on water and land, are great, the villain's comeuppance is rather understated, in the way that being exploded after overinflation can. Although Kanaga explodes with a bang, we don't get the same large-scale villain's lair shootout of You Only Live Twice, or Diamonds Are Forever, and I think that this works. 

The biggest let down with this film is the minor character of Sheriff Pepper, who's unfunny insertion into the boat chase feels like padding, and slow down the action considerably. I can't wait for him to reappear in the next film...

Rosie Carver, Bond's first African-American squeeze, is interesting, particularly when she double-crosses 007 and ends up dead. Solitaire is a little bland, and a bit too quick to fall for Bond's charms, but weak Bond girls are fairly common in early Moore movies, if memory serves. 

Aside from the odious Sheriff Pepper, this is an excellent Bond movie, and a thrilling action movie in its own right. A much better story, more tightly focussed than Diamonds Are Forever, with memorable villains and some excellent laugh-out-loud lines, including one of my favourites: 'Don't worry darling, its just a small hat, belonging to a man of limited means, who lost a fight with a chicken.'

Wanting to Believe (Robert Shearman, 2009)

The full title of this excellent tome is: 'Wanting to Believe: A Critical Guide to the X-Files, Millennium & the Lone Gunmen' and it is this guide that has got me through the last 4 days of a horrible cold that has kept me off work all week.

I'm a massive fan of The X-Files and so I jump on any new literature related to the show. Earlier last year, just before the new movie came out, there was an 'official' release, titled The Complete X-Files: Behind the Scenes, the Myths and the Movies which turned out to be something of a disappointment. It was nice to have an official summary of every season, and have an insight into I Want To Believe, and the hundreds of photos were great. Aside from the many editorial problems with spelling, miscaptioning of photos and general mistakes when referring to specific episodes, I enjoyed the book, but it gave short shrift to many episodes in its discussion of every one of them. Some merely received a sentence or two synopsis with no behind the scenes insight or critical evaluation. Still, it was the first new X-Files branded product for years and I lapped it up - I won't be shelling out for the 'special edition' re-release version that Amazon.co.uk has listed at £123 though!

Wanting to Believe is a fantastic read, and by the very nature of it being an unofficial guide, Robert Shearman can provide a much more objective critique of the series than any official guide could ever produce. I especially liked the fact that the guide covers Millennium and The Lone Gunmen as well, as there has never been a guide to either series (not that the latter particularly needs one). I've only seen Millennium in its 3 season entirety once and I enjoyed it, despite the rather varied approaches to each season, and after reading the guide I'd like to revisit the series once more. While The X-Files and Millennium believably inhabited the same fictional world, The Lone Gunmen all too often played for laughs and is the weaker relation, its inclusion in this guide makes more sense for completion's sake. Chris Carter's other series, Harsh Realm, doesn't get a mention, but that was set in a dull virtual reality setting and was just poor, so it makes sense that Shearman doesn't cover it.

It seems a bit odd reviewing a book of reviews, so there's not much I can say about it other than the man talks sense! It's not often that I totally disagreed with his assessment of an episode, but Shearman makes his points very clearly, and I was never in doubt as to what he felt were a show's flaws or stand out scenes. Reading the reviews of every season of The X-Files and Millennium together makes for some interesting conclusions about how each series developed and what the story arcs and themes seemed to be, and I was forced to reevalute some of my own thoughts on the shows - perhaps I've been too quick to like nearly every episode! It's also interesting to read reviews of seasons 8 and 9 in particular as the 'official' guides ended at season 7, and I've not read an unofficial guide that ran past season 5 (except online, of course). Season 8 was a stronger series than many would think - particularly those who'd lost faith with the show by that point and given up. Season 9 was pretty poor, but there were some flashes of greatness here and there, but they were hard to find.

After this guide I don't think I need to read another X-Files guide* as this was very comprehensive. I'd recommend it to anyone who loved the show.

*(Of course, I'll read any new X-Files book that manages to get published!)
 

Camp Rock (2008)

So I'm a fan of High School Musical right? What of it? So I thought I'd record Camp Rock when it was on BBC1 ages ago and give that a spin. How bad could it be? HSM and the sequel (at this point I'd not seen the third, but I have now... more about that here) are both easy watching, Zac Efron is particularly easy on the eye, and I love a good musical at the best of times. Corny, yes, and very, VERY Disneyfied, but hey, what's wrong with people having a great time and a song and a dance? 

Camp Rock is so bad it makes High School Musical look like an Oscar-worthy musical in the same vein as Chicago. How bad is Camp Rock? Let me count the ways: 
1) The lead actress, Demi Lovato, playing Mitchie, was so achingly smiley and sweet I wanted one of the other characters to punch her. I'm not a violent person. But there's only so much sweetness I can take. Gabriella in HSM treads a fine line between wholesome and irritating, but Mitchie is so far past the line, it's a dot to her. And for a musical where the lead actress is supposed to be hiding a stunning voice I'm afraid Lovato's wasn't up to much.
2) The direction was poor, making what should have been an exciting musical (isn't being exciting a musical's raison d'être??) into a flat and boring thing to endure.
3) The story was dull and predictable - yes you can call HSM predictable too, but this was all  kinds of crap. 
4) All of the songs sounded pretty much the same. I can't remember any of them, although I do remember thinking that the Jonas' sang the best ones.

5) The Jonas Brothers were the best things in it.

 

Here are the Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato, notice how she's still bloody smiling? From left to right, after having seen Camp Rock, I can confidentally name the brothers: curly-haired Jonas, lead singer Joe Jonas, and the other Jonas. Joe I can recognise as he's the second lead in the movie - the others are reduced to bit parts. That wouldn't be so bad, but their characters get the best, funniest lines, and they have more chemistry than the rest of the cast put together. I began to yearn for their characters to keep coming back! Joe Jonas was quite good though, in spite of the sullen teenager stereotype he was lumbered with.

Why is the Jonas Brothers being the best things in Camp Rock a bad thing? Well the only other thing I know about them is that they wear rings confirming their chasteness and virginity. That makes me shudder on many levels, and so I didn't want them to be so good!

I will *not* be buying the Camp Rock soundtrack, or watching the inevitable sequel(s). But I will be reflecting on how much better High School Musical is!